It's Christmas Day. We had breakfast and you gave AleX and I sweet presents, which meant nothing in comparison to your sweet presence. I just love you to death. It was so fun to spend the last few days with you. It was relaxed and peaceful. We bought our first official coffee maker together and laughed as we quickly gathered our things before you took me to get the fat sucked out of my neck. You took such good care of me and I felt accepted and loved; all I've ever really wanted. I know so much has changed and I know it's been hard, and I so appreciate you being patient with me as I muddle my way through it. We'll get there.
Ah, Anthony. What can I say. Does he treat you well, yes. Does he love you, I believe, on this day, that he truly did, perhaps does. Is he what I wish for a person to attach yourself to as deeply as it seems you want? Not really. But I know this is your life and your time and your heart and your choice. I want someone for you who will be an enthusiastic contributor to a shared life, a go-getter, like you. I hope you will give yourself time to make a "new" life. That takes time after the kind of connection you two have had. I know it's warm and familiar and comfortable. I know that always feels good. And Baby girl, in case you haven't figured it out yet, you can have the best of the best. You don't need to settle in any area. Not in looks, not in emotion, not in chemistry, not in money, NOTHING. So, I hope you'll be patient with yourself and your life and give it time to show up for you in a whole new way....cause it will.
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